Wind In Sky

This morning, when I was reading China Daily Brief in my cell phone, a news came out–“A member of Boyzone died”. Astonished by this news, I just prayed in my mind “it should not be Stephen”. But the detailed report broke my fantasy soon. It is Stephen that had died in Spain on Oct. 11th. Then I found the same news from NYTimes, which got this news from The Associate Press. I have to acknowledge that this cute boy has passed away.

Driving home at dusk, I heard the <No matter what> on radio FM 91.5 which expressed their respect to Stephen through this song. I recalled that I was one of the fans of Boyzone and their songs had left numerous memory for me and those days of my youth.

I began to listen to their songs in the summer of 2000, when I was still a freshmen in BNU. I bought my Disc-man and some CDs, one of which is the collection of Boyzone. I was touched soon by the songs such as <words>. Then I found I had heard their another classic hit song <no matter what>in May 2000. It was a rainy day during our military training when I heard that song from a radio program of Live Concert dedicated to Loyd Webber’s birthday. There are also other songs from this fantastic band:<every day I love you>,< love me for a reason>These touching songs had accompanied me in a lot of  sleepless nights. Actually,  this band’s heyday had passed when I began to listen to their songs, but it did not hinder me from falling in love with their music. However, as band composed by  6 persons, I did not pay particular attention to any member of them until one of seniors of our faculty  told me Stephen’s story. I was surprised by his great courage to admit his own sexual orientation. I thought whether his orientation could be accpeted by us or not, his courage to face the real ego deserved respect from everyone.

After disbanding of Boyzone, Stephen released his personal album<new beginning>in 2000. Honestly speaking , as far as I am concerned,  this album is not so good as the songs performed by Boyzone, but it also reached number 3 in the UK charts. Afterwards, he released another album but I did not buy them even never heard of them. I continued to listen to old song of Boyzone, sometimes I also read some news of Stephen , such as his new boyfriend and his civil union marriage. Until Boyzone  announced its reformation last year, this band did not attract attention for a long time. But its live performance in 2008 was so successful. I believed many audiences must found their youth from the idol of their teenager years. To find the boys in yesterday had  became mature men, it must inspired so much complex emotion among every one's mind. 

So everyone who love Boyzone is stunned by this sudden tragedy when we were still dreaming for the  new begining of Boyzone. It is too hard to accept this fact that Stephen had died only at the age of 33. It is not difficult to imagine he could have a lot of time to spend with his band and his family if only he had not left us too early.

As the Former Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern said  " Gately's death was a huge tragedy to Irish entertainment, Irish music and further afield as well.Boyzone and Stephen, they've all been part of Irish life and far wider than that, the last 15 years, and so successful, so it's a huge, huge tragedy. It's so sad.'' Maybe Stephen could not be as great as Michael Jackson, he would not be a legend in the history of music, but he still would be a part of our youthhood  and his voice and songs would live in our memories. 

Farewell to Stephen Gately, wish you a good journey !   

      Boston Legal第五季的大结局早在去年年底就已经播完，其实整部戏我也早就下来了放到电脑里，却一直没有大块的时间搞定它，结果就断断续续，时不时地看一两集，到最后看完大结局已经是上周末的时候了，已经落后了时代大半年了。风软的字幕小组在最后一集（实际是最后两集，第5季的12和13集）的片头做了这样的提示：“本集内容有重大争议，强烈建议不要观看。”显然这样的提示更激发了观众的兴趣。我其实以为大结局会遇到特别怪异，或者让某些人觉得disgusting的案子，看完了才知道，其实可能引起争议的不是其中的案件，而是故事本身的中国因素，以及最终Denny 和Alan 的婚姻。无疑，片中对中国人的描绘肯定会激起很多民族主义者和愤青的反弹，还好BL本身在国内不算很火的美剧，否则早被吵翻天了吧。最后两集中Crane Poole & Schimit因为投资失败等原因濒于破产，在准备与另一家所合并，但当Shirley大姐带着晕乎乎的Denny去和投资者见面的时候，才发现原来并购者背后的投资者实际是一家来自中国的跨国集团。不难想象身为一个坚定的自由主义者的Shirley对这一真相的反应，而Denny同学更是怒不可竭，立刻拔出随身的枪对一帮中国投资者扫射，而原本以救世者身份高傲地坐在他们面前的我国同胞们则被Denny的彩蛋枪打得落花流水，四散逃去。接下来的故事很“律所”，管理合伙人会议最终以多数票批准了合并方案。投反对票的Shirley和Carl等人向法院申请禁令要求阻止合并，其实结果很容易猜到，申请禁令的动议被驳回，伟大的Crane Poole & Shimit最终沦为为中国人打工。

   不难理解这样的情节出现的现实背景，去年下半年，在米国经济萧条的时候，正是中国大肆在国际上收购各类资产的高潮，相比很多米国人民被我们中国人的大手笔给吓着了，以为中国要把整个美国给买下，显然这一情节就是这种心态的一种真实写照。当然，其实站在米国人民的角度来理解，Shirley大妈的反应是可以理解，她在申请禁令的听审中曾指出，中国人来收购软件企业和制造业是一回事，言下之意是说收购这些企业并不会伤到美国的根本，但她进一步提出，收购律师事务所，这类在美国政治文化中占有独特地位和发挥着重要作用(to safeguard our individual liberty)的机构，则将威胁到美国的安全。她指出了中国一大堆毛病，例如一贯很差的人权记录，支持苏丹政府镇压达富尔，杀害女婴等。其实她对中国，其实主要是针对中国政府的这一系列指控，听起来很刺耳，其实在我看来都没有说错什么，只不过点名了很多我等中国人想说而不敢说的事实罢了。以当代中国社会文化氛围里孕育出的一帮暴发户们（无论是国企还是所谓的民营企业）竟然要去买一家美国的律所，想想都不寒而栗。所以我超级理解Shirley和Alan他们的忧虑，正如她所说她确实难以阻止拿着大笔money（其实站在我们的角度想想，这些钱里面有多少是我们这些可怜的中国老百姓辛辛苦苦缴纳的税金、养老保险、各种规费，还有多少是石油、石化这等垄断企业从我们手里压榨的高额利润，更有多少是官商勾结的房地产商们掠去的活命钱）的中国投资者们去逐渐购买整个米国（这种说法有点夸张了，但是也未必不可能），她老人家死也不愿意看到自己和挚友们一手创办的事业最后交到这个来自严重不良人权记录国度的企业手里，更不要说片子里那帮中国人一看就是一帮国企老总形象，显然隐射去收购企业是家中国国企。也许这片子确实有丑化中国人的嫌疑，不过大体说来，整个的刻画并没有错，只是说出了一些米国人（应该大多是偏左的自由派人士，当然也不排除有像Denny这样的共和党人）心中深处的忧虑罢了。看到这里，我倒有几分了解风软小组同学们的苦心了，他们“强烈建议不要观看”的提示实际上是煞费苦心，既预见到了诸位愤青同学们的反应，另一方面却是在提醒我们透过Shirley他们的眼光来看我们生活的这个国家。Shirley在法庭上最后说的那句话“I understand that the United States may end up working for China, one day, I guess that it’s a new world order. But, as far as law firms go,  my name is on this one . My life’s work has been to build up a ……, Let them start from somebody else’s firm.”还是直击人心啊。

       其实这篇日记应该写在9月8日，十年前我第一次到北京的日子，但今天还是想要写下点什么了，相比起十年来，这短短的几天差异又算得上什么呢。早些时候，我哥王派利同学的msn签名档已经是“10 anniversary”了，我看了心里一紧，蓦然发现这所谓十周年的日子对于我来说也很近了。

       今天晚上是跟207的兄弟们一起聚会的，原因是小蛮牛同学要离开北京到山东去了，他将在那申请去瑞典的Offer。精神领袖也在早些时候放弃了律师的工作，离开北京到山西闯荡了。席间，范帅也透露说他马上会去武汉常驻以完成公司的某个项目。突然觉得207要散了的样子，最早只有杨帆回川，其他人都留在北京打拼，现在却要各奔东西了，是有感伤么，抑或感慨。从十年前那些青涩未退的小男生到疲于奔波的男人，这样的跨度也许是我们能想象地变化最大的十年吧。十年前的国庆，我和伟哥会因为忍受不了初次离家的寂寞而跳上回蓉的火车，现在想起来会笑自己的吧。不可否认地，对家和家乡的念想确实有变淡吧，正如我熟悉北京远甚于熟悉成都。

       十年，都从江core时代进入胡温的天下。十年，可以是网络的兴起到渗入到生活的每个缝隙，还可以是从懵懂少年到初为人父。没有办法列举这十年来我们都经历了些什么，成长是充满着阵痛的过程，正如今天我看到开始发福的范帅，已经很难想起十年前的那个白衣少年，但那些根子上的东西，还是会在不经意间悄悄闪现，博来一笑。十年，我们遭遇了很多未曾想到的事件，毕业的时候遇到非典，刚开始事业打拼的时候赶上百年未遇的大萧条，还要经历那场痛彻人心512。常说99级这批人，遇到了一个翻天覆地的时代，大时代中有人已经出人头地，有人还在奋力打拼，也有人已经坐地享福。十年后的路，谁也不知道是更难走还是更好走，好走难走也都得走罢了。但愿大家都还走得顺当些吧。

      网络的好处就在于地球的这端到那一端确实算不上什么距离，远在LA的伟哥就一直关注国内的动向，所以连《西征记》终于出版的消息，我也是从他的msn签名档上看到的。说句实话，我此前对“野葫芦引”的后两卷能否面世一直不敢抱太大的幻想，宗璞先生已经是七十多岁的老太太，双目几近失明，还有其他的病痛，不难想象在这样的状态下还要继续写作数十万的作品是多么艰难的事情。所以很开心能够看到《西征记》的出版，也期望老太太少受些病痛的折磨，能够把《北归记》也带给大家。毕竟她和她的父辈们两代人所经历的那段历史，是永远无法复制的厚重和辉煌。

   孟夏就要结束的时候，我正常大学的小校友DAVID同学也要离开北京了，不出意外的话，未来的几年，小D同学就在上海度过了。虽说网上天天可以碰面，京沪之间的交通也算得上方便，但不在一个城市了，感觉还是会变生疏吧。我们同小D认识，是因为J的缘故，彼时他们是情侣关系，结果两人分手后，小D倒跟我们熟悉起来，经常混在一起。年初上老罗的托福培训班的时候，我们也是同学，好些个周末一起上课，一起跟上课的老师犯贫。我到现在一直都很感谢那段时光，周末的上课让人很充实。其实我在那个班上算是异类，因为那里几乎全是在校的学生，就连两位老师都小我好多岁，难免自己觉得老了许多，还有身边有小D这么个好友，跟我插科打诨，让我轻松了很多，虽然他经常拿我们的年龄差距来“洗我脑壳”。不管怎样，当离别来临的时候，还是会有舍不得，还好就像我自己说的一样，去上海出差的机会颇多，所以大家碰面不是难事，话虽这么说，其实知道，今后见面机会很少了很多，大家珍重好了。

   整个六月几乎是耗在装修这件事情上了，还好就要结束，看到房子一点点变样，还是颇有成就感，以前也买过房子，可是自己从来没有去住过，也没有上心搭理，所以体会不到这种感觉。现在从选施工队、买材料、挑颜色、挑家具等等细碎的事情一步步走过来，两个人吵吵闹闹一点一滴地过来，疲惫但也开心，这也算是这个六月的收获了。

当年经常逛豆瓣九点的时候，曾经很喜欢一个叫“平凉路边，电力学院”的博客，这个博客也加到了我的链接里。这位同学的博客写的很放肆，当然还有他的身材，不得不让人艳羡。我一贯很喜欢放肆的文字，正如若干年前喜欢CD半支烟的“开这辆车的时候我最爱你”。但是说句实话，我一直不知道“平凉路边”的意思。直到这些天，忘了在哪里读到，这是上海的一条路啊，原来如彼。

在夏天已经不期而至的时候，发现这个春天过得很纷乱，买房、上培训班、出差、……理不清晰的头绪，眼看半年就要过去，还有那么多的堆积。我从来自认为不是个容易焦虑的人，但是压着那么些事情的时候，仍然没有办法全然放下，不过总是要慢慢做完，只好顺其自然。说起自然，许久没机会接触了，前两天去陕西，在西安到洋县的路上，公路在秦岭中穿越，两旁全是一片绿色，桥下是湍急但清澈的水流，很是让人放松。本来计划今年要找机会去海边晃晃的，事情一多，再加上经济上的紧张，不知道能不能成行了。还好最近雨水多起来了，让夏天不至那么干燥。